Miranda’s twelfth month: Dreams

IMG_6386

There are times when nothing goes as planned. When your heart says one thing and your mind says another thing and all it takes all your energy to keep yourself together. That is why I  forgot to write the twelfth month post. More than halfway through, I realise that I have actually focused on my planned focus area without even noticing it.

So, I will devote my final month of this Memento Vivere year to dreams. Dreams such as finishing a novel, starting my own book café or living a greener life.  Apart from allowing myself to dream, I will try to find ways to actually make my dreams come true, because during the last few weeks I have realised that in fact, none of them are impossible.

signatur

Leave a comment

Filed under Miranda

Titania’s twelfth month: Doing something for the world

Gosh, I just realized that half of July has already passed, and I still haven’t got going with my twelfth and final project month. The most important reason is that I’m (almost) on holiday (hard to say now that I’m self-employed and don’t get any money for staying away from work), and thus life has less structure than otherwise.

2013-07-12 12.56.04This last week my mind has also been completely filled up by a camp, Circle Way, that I’ve been organizing (OK, so there’s been a bit of work, anyway…) together with my best friend, and where I brought my whole family. In the Circle Way camp we were around 70 people of all ages, coming together at a beautiful place in the Swedish countryside, listening to the wisdom of Manitonquat (or Medicine Story), an 84-year-old North-American Indian, and his Swedish wife Ellika, and practicing supportive listening – in circles and in pairs. It was a challenge arranging the camp with so many people (we did it last year as well, but with less than half the number of people), but I still managed to get a lot out of it for my own personal benefit – and the kids loved it, again!

The atmosphere of Circle Way is very warm, loving and respectful – towards other people and towards Mother Nature. So, the Memento Vivere challenge for my twelfth month seems to fit in very well in the aftermath of the camp. In two years from now, my family and I plan to go staying somewhere abroad for a longer period of time in order to try to do something good for the world. We have talked about India, but might turn up somewhere completely different. I would like to devote what’s left of this month to finding more information about where we could do and what we could do.

The original idea of the Memento Vivere project was to address twelve different areas. It hasn’t turned out exactly like that; sometimes I have needed two months in order to really get going with something. I have also come to realize that I don’t want to stop now! Using the project frame has been very beneficial to my development; I have got started with meditation and physical exercise again, and I have done many other things that make my life richer. I really believe in the idea of focusing on one thing at a time when you want to make a change, rather than trying to do everything at once, with the risk of ending up without having done anything at all.

So, I will go on with Memento Vivere, perhaps for another year, perhaps for life. Whenever it’s useful and feasible, I will use the one-month format. Whenever I need more time, I will use more months. Finding information about what to do for the world will take time, so, unless something else that feels extremely urgent turns up, I will use the coming months (uncertain how many) to dig into this area, until I feel confident about what we will do. If you have experiences of international volunteering – or know someone who does – I would really appreciate your suggestions for where to start looking!

PS. My Spirituality month went great! I’ll tell you all about it some other time. 🙂

Titania

Leave a comment

Filed under Challenge, Circle Way, Titania, Volunteering

My colour, my life, my book

One of the tasks in the course on spiritual development I’m taking this month was about trying to associate a colour with one of the other participants in the course, and then tell this person about your associations. A few days ago I got this message:

The color I associate with you is yellow, wonderfully warm yellow with hints of gold. I also get  a positive and very creative feeling, combined with a strong desire for self-fulfillment. You have just discovered your inner sun and you let it shine and touch everyone you meet. 

2013-06-08 19.04.30-2I was very happy about the message, and I particularly felt that this woman’s words about my creativity felt so good right now. As a child I dreamt of becoming a writer, and I have indeed been a textbook writer for quite a few years, but last week I embarked on a new project: writing a novel. Together with Miranda I went on a writers’ retreat for some days, a bit scared about finally awarding myself the time to start writing. What if I wouldn’t have anything to say?

But I shouldn’t have worried. The words just came to me, and in those few days, in those beautiful surroundings, I wrote about 25 pages of text – loving every minute of it. Of course it’s easier because I utilize my own experiences, feeling and thoughts to a great extent, but I was very pleased to note that I had no problems leaving the autobiographical parts and invent things that have never happened either. I’m now looking forward to a long summer where I will squeeze in novel writing whenever I have some time off – from children, bathing, cooking and mowing the lawn. It feels just like falling in love.

Titania

Leave a comment

Filed under Fear, spirituality, Writing

Titania’s TEDx Talk – time to just do it, again!

Since my April month was about just doing things, without fearing or procrastinating, I will do exactly that. A deep breath and here it is: my TEDx Talk about listening to your inner voice and learning to navigate according to your internal compass. If you like it, I would be very grateful if you would share it among your friends – since TED ideas are supposed to be spread. 🙂 Here goes!

Titania

Leave a comment

Filed under Fear

Miranda’s eleventh month: Spirituality

2013-05-07 21.19.47-1Ever since I was a little child, I’ve been interested in things that we cannot see. My grandmother used to tell me stories about strange things (some spooky and some wonderful) that had happened to people in our family. I’m not psychic or anything, but I believe – and hope! – that, for instance, death isn’t just a dead end. A few times in my life I’ve been to see psychics, not really because I want someone to tell me about my future (as many other people who visit such a person do), but mainly because I’ve been curious to see if I would be able to get in touch with someone from the other side. Once I was told that two of my four children, my oldest (Miranda) and my youngest, have special gifts.

I often hear people say that they cannot believe in anything that can’t be proven, and I fully respect this opinion. In my world, however, I don’t want proof of everything. To me, affirming what I cannot see – without really knowing – brings magic to life. Over the years, I’ve spent quite a lot of time reading about spirituality, in different areas. I’ve also taken courses, in crystal healing and reiki healing, the latter proving very effective in many situations (especially when I cannot sleep, and when my kids complain about growing pains in their legs). During my fifteen years working in Academia, I usually kept quite about this spiritual interest of mine; surrounded by researchers to whom evidence is everything.

Working as a freelance nowadays, I have no such problems any longer, and this month I’m going to take a new step in my spiritual development. Tomorrow, I will start following a distance course where we’ll practice a lot of different things related to strengthening one’s intuition and spiritual abilities. The course will run for a month, and besides practicing, I will have the opportunity to chat – via social media – to other course participants and our course leader. At the end of the month I will also take a whole-day course, and that night there will be a private seance with the course leader. I’m so excited!

Titania

Leave a comment

Filed under spirituality, Titania

Miranda’s eleventh month: Writing

May did not turn out as planned. In the end I could not even pick up my guitar and two days ago everything fell apart. I am so confused right now. In one moment I somehow manage to repress what has happened, in the other I struggle to remember how to breathe. It seems as if the only thing I can do right now to cope with the anxiety and regret is to write. This will be a tough month, but I seem to be the most creative when I don’t feel very well. So maybe this is the perfect month to finally start writing my novel. Maybe it will be easier if I can slip into that other world, just for a little while, and pretend I’m not the girl who broke up with a boy she still loves terribly.

signatur

Leave a comment

Filed under creativity, Love, Miranda, Relationships, Writing

Titania’s tenth month: A New Morning Ritual

I have two great evening routines. For many years now I’ve been writing in my feel-good book, not every night, but often. Here I write down a few words about what has happened if I want to (no stressful reporting duties), and – more importantly – “Three (or more) things that I’m grateful for today”, “Something I need help with” and “Something I’ve done to feel good” (such as yoga, meditation or a jog). Writing down these things is a way for me to focus on some positive aspects, even a day when the sun isn’t shining. I strongly adhere to Dalai Lama’s idea that we’re so good at dwelling on the negative aspects in life, that we don’t have to make an effort to remember these, whereas what we really need to make an effort to do is notice all those little miracles in life.

Thanks to the Memento Vivere project, I also finally managed to get back to meditation last August, and now I meditate regularly, almost every evening before I go to bed. Meditation is usually an efficient remedy for my inspiration overload, although every now and then it seems to have the opposite effect, i.e. to open up yet another channel to my creativity. In those cases  I simply have to give up and go write down whatever it is that comes flying.

But now to my mornings. My friend and colleague Sara has been meditating in the mornings for quite some time now, and her husband does some yoga. I’ve been envious, since meditation and yoga seem to be such great ways of starting the day. My morning is somewhat more complicated than theirs, since I still have such small kids (my youngest is three), so I’ve simply dismissed the idea. Until a few weeks ago, when I read a blog entry about a woman who had started a new morning ritual, which inspired me so much that I decided to give it a try during my May month. What she did was meditate and write some specific things down in a beautiful book.

I realized that there is indeed some room for me to do something similar. It can’t take more than ten minutes or so, but I can have those ten minutes to myself, after my husband and daughters have left for work and school, and before I take their little brother to kindergarten half an hour later. My son loves to watch some web TV with (really good!) children’s programs in the morning, and I usually let him do that for about a quarter of an hour or so, since it gets him in a good mood. I have now decided to do like this: Instead of walking around picking up things, dressing myself and my son, brushing teeth etc. during those fifteen minutes, I’ll get up a little earlier and make sure that everything is ready when it’s time for his web TV session. Then, while he’s at the computer, I’ll do a short meditation session and then write a few lines in my new notebook, according to the following headings:

  • 2013-05-01 22.33.14The best things things about yesterday
  • My three most important tasks today
  • Today’s affirmation (a sentence formulated as if something has already happened, e.g. I have completed X and feel very satisfied with the result, or as a state I want to be in, e.g. Today I feel really creative)

I hope that this will make me more efficient and even more positively tuned than otherwise to my working tasks. Then I’ll try to keep the evening routines as well, as a more general form of relaxation and reflection.

Leave a comment

Filed under creativity, Meditation, Priorities, Productivity