I love to keep my life well organised. To make detailed plans and stick to them. I feel safer when I can keep things under control. I write lists of things to do and things to buy and habits to keep and if we’re going on a trip, I usually arrange everything. I book flights and accommodation and search for things to do. I print maps and schedules to make everything go smooth. And I’ve always thought this is the only way to make things work. That if I didn’t make all these plans everything would turn out a disaster. But that’s not true. The last few days have really showed me the value of allowing some spontaneity into my life.
I turned 22 last week, and my gift from my boyfriend was a trip somewhere. We decided to take a bus to the west coast and spend two nights at a camping. Since the trip was a gift I didn’t want to interfere with my boyfriends plans (or lack of them), so I decided, for once, to stay away from all kinds of planning. On our way to the bus station we spotted some dark clouds and decided to check the weather. The forecast for the city we had decided to go to didn’t look good at all, and my boyfriend simply said: “so, let’s go to the east coast instead”. This was half an hour before our bus was supposed to leave. Normally, I would probably stress out, but perhaps the fact that I hadn’t really planned anything helped me bite my tongue and agree.
An hour later we jumped on a train and ended up spending two great days with perfect weather on the east coast. And the interesting thing was that any plan we tried to make went awry, but mostly with great consequences. We planned to go to the cinema the first night, but instead spent the night watching stars by the sea. Not too bad. On the second day we took a bus to a zoo, but when we got there it was closing within 30 minutes. I’m sure the zoo would have been nice, but instead of spending lots of money we walked to a camping and went for a swim. That wasn’t unpleasant either. I wasn’t able to stick to all of my health habits, but I had a wonderful trip with my boyfriend that certainly made up for it.
During October, when my focus area is Love, one of my goals will be to allow more room for spontaneity. Although some routines and plans are good, I really admire my boyfriend’s ability to just go with the flow and see where it takes him. I don’t want to stifle his spontaneity with my planning addiction, and I don’t want to quench my own happiness because I’m to busy arranging the future or stressing over the present.
I know that when I dare to, it’s so nice to simply let go.